The power of prayer

When I was younger I always wondered why prayer only worked for certain people. Think about it, a person in a poor country will spend their life praying for a better life, and they will die living in a worse situation than they were in before they started praying for a better life. Now a person in the United States will pray for a job, car, a house, and many other things, and their prayers will eventually be answered. 

Why does prayer work like this? Does god choose specific people to help, and ignore others? What makes Americans better than people that reside in poor countries? Now that I am older, and wiser, I understand how prayer works . . . it doesn't work. Well, it doesn't work in the way that most people assume that it does. I will explain.

People act as if our creator is a genie and their prayers are wishes that are granted whenever they ask for something. God, can you please help me get a job, can you please help me get a car, and can you please improve my failing health. After you get a job, a new car, and your health improves, you will say, thank god, he answered my prayers. Prayers work based on the type of environment that you live in, the amount of hard work that you put into what you are trying to accomplish, and it really depends on if you make more right choices than wrong ones. And most importantly, the people around you and their actions will have a huge impact on you getting the things that you prayed for. With that being said, prayer works, but not in the way that we think it does. Prayer works because we manipulate ourselves into believing that an unseen force is working just as hard as we are to help us accomplish the things that we set out to accomplish. Prayer motivates people, but that doesn't mean that your prayers are being answered.

Why doesn't god answer our prayers? Well I hate using the word god; I used the word creator. Our creator gave us freewill to make our own choices in life. Our choices will decide how things will turn out in our lives. The choices that you are making, along with the effects of the good and bad karma that you accumulated while in this lifetime, and previous lifetimes, will determine how good or bad your life will be.

If our creator intervened every time we asked for help it would stunt our spiritual growth. Our overall purpose in life is to rise to a higher level of consciousness, the highest level, which is super-consciousness, is a level of consciousness that all souls must attain. At this level we will become one with our creator again, and escape the cycle of reincarnation.

Prayer is a way of talking to our creator and meditation is a way of hearing our creator. Prayer should not be used to ask for things that you could get on your own if you worked harder and made better choices. Prayer should only be used as a way to connect with our creator, and to talk to our creator, that is it. If you see a person in need of something, don't just say that you will pray for them, offer to help them. If you want a car, house, or a job, don't bother our creator with that, work harder, make better choices, treat others good, and avoid negative karma, and you will see things in your life change for the better.

It may seem as if your prayers have been answered after you’ve have asked our creator for help, but the truth is, you are the one that will be answering your own prayers after you ask our creator to physically intervene in your life. That is hard for some people to comprehend because they only see things the way they was taught to see them, and they can't see beyond that. Just know that our creator gave us free will for a reason, use it to your advantage, but also use it to spread love, and help others. If we all followed these methods we could change the world, while changing ourselves.

Why do men cheat?

Most women want to know why men cheat, and some of them feel as if there is one single answer, and that answer is that he is not satisfied. Honestly, some men do cheat because they are not satisfied, but that is not the only reason why men cheat, there is no single answer. 

 One of the reason that men cheat is because they enjoy the thrill of cheating. The excitement that comes along with cheating pushes a lot of men to constantly cheat on their girlfriends. I once was friends with a guy that had the perfect girlfriend, but he cheated on her all of the time. I did my dirt back in the day so I could not judge him, but when I had a good woman I didn't cheat, so I could not understand why was constantly breaking her heart. 

 One day I asked him why do he cheat on her so much, and he looked at me and said that he know that has a good woman, but he was addicted to the thrill of cheating, because of the feeling that he gets when he sneaks around, doing something that is forbidden, such as cheating. A lot of men never stop seeking that thrill until they realize that they are constantly losing good women by making poor choices. Remember this, you CANNOT change a man that think like that, the best thing that you can do is distance yourself from the relationship, because he will not change until he wants to change.

 Another reason why men cheat is because their so called friends influence them to do so. Some men feel as if they can't say no to a woman when they are in a situation where they are around their friends, and they have a woman coming on to them. They might want to say no, but when they have their friends in their ear constantly telling them to go for it, they are going to do that, because they don't want to feel like they are less of a man for saying no, and they also want to impress their friends. These type of men are weak, and easy to influence, so they cheat to protect their image. It sounds childish, but these things do happen.

 Then you have those men that cheat because it gives them a sense of freedom, because deep down inside they are afraid to commit, so cheating gives them the opportunity to have the best of both worlds. They are able to be in a relationship with one woman, but they are also able to do their thing on the side, and this helps them to eliminate the feeling of being tied down. These men will continue to do this until they grow up and overcome their fear of commitment, and realize that being with one woman, and being faithful can be an amazing thing.

 As you can see there is never one specific reason to explain why most men cheat, there can be many reasons. Now, I don't believe in giving second chances even though a lot of women give these cheaters a second chance. Most people that cheat will end up cheating again, especially after being caught and getting a second chance to do it again. This happens because some men see a second chance as a woman being weak and desperate, so he feels like she need him and without him she can't function. Men feel like it doesn't matter how much they cheat because their significant other will never leave them, and she will keep forgiving them; the sad part is that it usually works out like this. 

Take this from a man that used to cheat, and a man that knew a lot of men that cheated, a lot of us do change our ways, but do not expect that man to change his ways while he is with you. This can happen, but there is a stronger chance that he will continue to hurt you until you get fed up and leave him. He might continue to mess up future relationships, until he realize that he must force himself to be faithful and gain some self-control, so that he can finally settle down for good. Believe it or not all men eventually get tired of being a player, but there is nothing that you can do to make him become tired of it.

F@#K Valentines Day

I believe that the worst times of the year to get in a relationship is the months of January and February. This is the time of the year that people start to prepare for valentines day. I am against valentines day for a lot of reasons. I will explain my reasons in the next few paragraphs. 

I believe that valentines day just like a lot of other American holidays; it is just another holiday used to manipulate people into thinking that they need to buy a bunch of materialistic things that they don't need. Companies make consumers believe that spending all of their money on materialistic things to give to another person will make that person love them more. If you are in a relationship, whether or not you choose to buy your significant other gifts on this day should not dictate whether they will love you more or less. 

I applaud those women that can see how much this holiday is a waste of time. If you have  a good man everyday that you are with him should be like valentines day, because he should always show you how much he loves you. If a person feelings would change because you didn't buy them  gifts for valentines day, you need to ask yourself if their feelings were really as strong as they claimed that they were. 

This is another reason why I am against Valentines day, and this is the reason why I said that you should avoid getting in a relationship around this time of the year. This day makes a lot of single women feel as if they need a valentine because they want the gifts that comes along with celebrating valentines day, and they also don't want to be alone on that day. Men see this as a chance to get sex from the women that they will be showering with gifts. This leads to a lot of men and women getting into relationships because of this day, most of these types of relationships tend to end a few weeks to a couple of months after valentines day is over. Is it really worth it?

This day forces many men to spend money that they don't have buying materialistic stuff to show how much they care. This day forces some females to get into temporary relationships, and  have sex with men just so they can get gifts and have someone to spend valentines day with. This day causes a lot of relationships to end because the woman may not get a gift, or she may not be happy with the gift that she had received and decide to leave her man, and end the relationship. This day is the day where companies get richer off of our ignorance. If you are going to celebrate this day do it without buying gifts, there are many ways to be romantic without wasting your money to prove your love. And I need all women to remember that if you are single do not stress over this day and do not give your body to a man just to have someone to spend this day with, it is not worth it.

Single Mothers and Deadbeat Dads

One thing that I really hate is when a father leaves a mother to raise their kids on her own. In my opinion a deadbeat father is one of the worst labels that a man can be given. Nowadays, it seems as if being a single mother is becoming normal, because so many women are in this situation. Now let me be clear, there are some parents that break up simply because there are no solutions for the problems that they are experiencing, but the father still takes care of his kids; those are not the single mothers I am talking about right now.

The single mothers that are forced to raise a child on their own, while the father is not in his kids lives, and is not helping financially, those are the ones that I am discussing in this article. “The 1960 United States Census reported that 9% of children were dependent on a single parent, a number that has increased to 28% by the that the 2000 US Census was released.” I know plenty of single mothers that are constantly struggling to provide for their kids, because the father of her kids wasn’t man enough to handle his responsibilities. There is no way to fully prevent fathers from walking out on their kids, but there are certain preventive measures that you can take to lessen the chances of this happening, and I will discuss those shortly.

Let me make this clear, financially supporting your kids does not make you a good father, you must be in their lives, physically, because every child needs and deserves to have their father in their lives. My father never ran out on his family even during the tough times, and that showed me that a real man will make things work for the sake of keeping his family together, and he will always be in his kids lives even if him and their mother splits up. One thing that puzzles me is how we have laws to force deadbeat fathers to financially support their kids, but there is no law to force them to spend time with them. There should be a law like this, one that makes sure that they spend a certain amount of time with their kids, or face a fine and jail time. That may seem harsh, but it is no worse than him leaving a mother to struggle, and leaving her kids fatherless.

What can women do to minimize the risk of having a child by a deadbeat?

• The obvious thing to do is use birth control and make any man that is not your husband wear a condom. 
• If you believe in marriage, ask yourself, is the person that you are having sex with worth marrying, if the answer is no then he is not worth having a child with. 
• If he has kids, see if he takes care of them, if he isn't being a good father to his kids, don't risk assuming that he will be a good father to yours if you choose to have one with him. 
• If he is in and out of jail, unemployed and not trying to find a job, if he is a cheater or abusive to you in any way, DO NOT HAVE A BABY BY HIM. 

If you plan on getting pregnant by him so that he won't leave you, or to get him to change his ways, DON'T DO IT. If he want to leave you then he doesn't deserve you, and you can't change a man, a man will only change when he really want to.

Those are a few of my suggestions. What ever you do, please make sure that he is a good man, and make sure that you are having a child for the right reasons. Men can be unpredictable, so it is best that you get a degree, or start a good career so that you will be financially stable if he does decide to leave you and your kids. I believe that a child needs a father and a mother in his/her life, but if the father isn't around having a positive male role model in his/her life can also be beneficial. A positive male role model can be his/her brother, uncle, grandpa, or even your boyfriend/husband. If you are a single mother you have to be strong, even during the tough times keep a smile on your face. And do not stress over that deadbeat, because karma will catch up to him.

The impact of raising a child to be religious

Should children be forced/manipulated into following a certain religion? To answer this question I will focus on Christianity, which is a religion that I was a part of, but my opinion can be applied to any child that follows any religion. If you ask most religious people when did they choose to become religious, they will tell you that they don't remember. Most kids never have the freedom to choose what they want to believe in, because their parents force their beliefs on them at a young age. Think about it; parents start taking their kids to church at a young age, they start buying them toys for Christmas, and in the midst of that they tell them that Christmas is the day that they celebrate the birth of Christ. A lot of children have these beliefs forced on them without even fully understanding them. Is that fair to them?

We need to teach our children to be thinkers, and not followers. We need to teach our children to do research, instead of believing in something that they do not fully understand. I believe that parents should sit down with their children, and explain everything to them about each major religion. Then they should go online with them, and allow them to research different subjects that pertains to to those religion. They should also let them analyze the beliefs of civilizations such as the Hopi Indians, Maya, and the Sumerians. Once they have enough knowledge about these things, then parents should ask them what do they want to believe in. It should not matter what they chose to believe in, as a parent you should support them, and respect their beliefs even if they differ from yours.

Believe it or not, teaching your children to research subjects such as religion, and to form their own opinions will benefit them in a lot of different ways. Look at the people in the world today, so many of them have no clue about all of the negative things going on in the world, they have no idea of how corrupt the government really is, they have no clue that we could change the country and the world by getting rid of the monetary system, and replacing it with something like a resource based economy. The reason that they don't see the world for what it really is, is due to the fact that a lot of them were raised to be content with the way that things are, and to believe what the majority of people believe, instead of forming their own opinion. That is why I stated that the method that I suggested that would give children the freedom to choose what they want to believe in can be the same method that they can apply to everyday life as they get older. Don't believe something just because others believe it, always ask questions, always do your own research, and always form your own opinions based on what you believe is true.

Is This Love?

Vivacious, captivating, endearing, enchanting, and- graceful are all words that describe you.                              

I am attracted to you, yes this is true.

But this is deeper than me being attracted physically.           

I am talking about mentally and spiritually.

But I will go further, because I don’t think that you are hearing me.

I never knew that perfection could exist.

But in my eyes you are perfect, perfection you are it.                                                                                                 If there is a god you are one of his angels.

You came into my life and took my mind off of my- broken heart that was left mangled, strangled, and tangled.

A day without you in my life feels like an eternity.

The pain of missing you hurts externally and internally.

When I am with you, nothing else in the world matters.

Our time together consist of laughter.

Love making and deep conversations.

We discuss topics and theories that have us debating.

At that moment our souls are in tuned with one another- and our consciousness is elevated.

By now I think that you are hearing me clearly.

You are realizing that you are dear to me.

When we are apart I want you near me.

Clearly you are hearing me and feel that I want you here with me.

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: 1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships. 2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are. 3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament. 4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways. 5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation. To purchase this book, please click the link below.