WANTS VS NEEDS

I often hear women say that there are no more good men in the world. When I hear that I instantly feel the urge to correct them. There are a lot of good men in this world, the reason that a lot of of women can’t find a good man is because they let their wants over power the things that they need in a man. This can easily lead to a woman giving her heart to the wrong man. The outcome is usually her thinking that all men are the same due to her poor choice in men.

These type of women think that they NEED a man that looks perfect, has a lot of materialistic things, or one that’s popular and makes plenty of money. All of those things are not needs, those are wants, and a great deal of women tend to confuse those two things.The only things that a woman “needs” from a man is for him to treat her like a queen, love her with all of his heart, have goals to become successful. He should be faithful and respectful, and he should always do what he can to keep her satisfied. Those things that I just listed are the only things that a woman  really needs from a man, but when you let the things that you want in a man overpower the things that you need in a man you tend to end up with a man that will only be in your life temporarily. 

I am not saying that you shouldn't look for a man that possesses some of the things that you want in a man, what I am saying is that you should put your needs first and realize that even if he don’t have the things you want in a man you could still build a strong relationship off of him being able to fulfill your needs. When you go for what you need in a relationship you will start to attract good men, and realize that you were wrong when you assumed that good men didn't exist anymore, and you will see that you were just looking for the wrong things, which lead to you finding the wrong type of men.

The power of prayer

When I was younger I always wondered why prayer only worked for certain people. Think about it, a person in a poor country will spend their life praying for a better life, and they will die living in a worse situation than they were in before they started praying for a better life. Now a person in the United States will pray for a job, car, a house, and many other things, and their prayers will eventually be answered. 

Why does prayer work like this? Does god choose specific people to help, and ignore others? What makes Americans better than people that reside in poor countries? Now that I am older, and wiser, I understand how prayer works . . . it doesn't work. Well, it doesn't work in the way that most people assume that it does. I will explain.

People act as if our creator is a genie and their prayers are wishes that are granted whenever they ask for something. God, can you please help me get a job, can you please help me get a car, and can you please improve my failing health. After you get a job, a new car, and your health improves, you will say, thank god, he answered my prayers. Prayers work based on the type of environment that you live in, the amount of hard work that you put into what you are trying to accomplish, and it really depends on if you make more right choices than wrong ones. And most importantly, the people around you and their actions will have a huge impact on you getting the things that you prayed for. With that being said, prayer works, but not in the way that we think it does. Prayer works because we manipulate ourselves into believing that an unseen force is working just as hard as we are to help us accomplish the things that we set out to accomplish. Prayer motivates people, but that doesn't mean that your prayers are being answered.

Why doesn't god answer our prayers? Well I hate using the word god; I used the word creator. Our creator gave us freewill to make our own choices in life. Our choices will decide how things will turn out in our lives. The choices that you are making, along with the effects of the good and bad karma that you accumulated while in this lifetime, and previous lifetimes, will determine how good or bad your life will be.

If our creator intervened every time we asked for help it would stunt our spiritual growth. Our overall purpose in life is to rise to a higher level of consciousness, the highest level, which is super-consciousness, is a level of consciousness that all souls must attain. At this level we will become one with our creator again, and escape the cycle of reincarnation.

Prayer is a way of talking to our creator and meditation is a way of hearing our creator. Prayer should not be used to ask for things that you could get on your own if you worked harder and made better choices. Prayer should only be used as a way to connect with our creator, and to talk to our creator, that is it. If you see a person in need of something, don't just say that you will pray for them, offer to help them. If you want a car, house, or a job, don't bother our creator with that, work harder, make better choices, treat others good, and avoid negative karma, and you will see things in your life change for the better.

It may seem as if your prayers have been answered after you’ve have asked our creator for help, but the truth is, you are the one that will be answering your own prayers after you ask our creator to physically intervene in your life. That is hard for some people to comprehend because they only see things the way they was taught to see them, and they can't see beyond that. Just know that our creator gave us free will for a reason, use it to your advantage, but also use it to spread love, and help others. If we all followed these methods we could change the world, while changing ourselves.

F@#K Valentines Day

I believe that the worst times of the year to get in a relationship is the months of January and February. This is the time of the year that people start to prepare for valentines day. I am against valentines day for a lot of reasons. I will explain my reasons in the next few paragraphs. 

I believe that valentines day just like a lot of other American holidays; it is just another holiday used to manipulate people into thinking that they need to buy a bunch of materialistic things that they don't need. Companies make consumers believe that spending all of their money on materialistic things to give to another person will make that person love them more. If you are in a relationship, whether or not you choose to buy your significant other gifts on this day should not dictate whether they will love you more or less. 

I applaud those women that can see how much this holiday is a waste of time. If you have  a good man everyday that you are with him should be like valentines day, because he should always show you how much he loves you. If a person feelings would change because you didn't buy them  gifts for valentines day, you need to ask yourself if their feelings were really as strong as they claimed that they were. 

This is another reason why I am against Valentines day, and this is the reason why I said that you should avoid getting in a relationship around this time of the year. This day makes a lot of single women feel as if they need a valentine because they want the gifts that comes along with celebrating valentines day, and they also don't want to be alone on that day. Men see this as a chance to get sex from the women that they will be showering with gifts. This leads to a lot of men and women getting into relationships because of this day, most of these types of relationships tend to end a few weeks to a couple of months after valentines day is over. Is it really worth it?

This day forces many men to spend money that they don't have buying materialistic stuff to show how much they care. This day forces some females to get into temporary relationships, and  have sex with men just so they can get gifts and have someone to spend valentines day with. This day causes a lot of relationships to end because the woman may not get a gift, or she may not be happy with the gift that she had received and decide to leave her man, and end the relationship. This day is the day where companies get richer off of our ignorance. If you are going to celebrate this day do it without buying gifts, there are many ways to be romantic without wasting your money to prove your love. And I need all women to remember that if you are single do not stress over this day and do not give your body to a man just to have someone to spend this day with, it is not worth it.

Single Mothers and Deadbeat Dads

One thing that I really hate is when a father leaves a mother to raise their kids on her own. In my opinion a deadbeat father is one of the worst labels that a man can be given. Nowadays, it seems as if being a single mother is becoming normal, because so many women are in this situation. Now let me be clear, there are some parents that break up simply because there are no solutions for the problems that they are experiencing, but the father still takes care of his kids; those are not the single mothers I am talking about right now.

The single mothers that are forced to raise a child on their own, while the father is not in his kids lives, and is not helping financially, those are the ones that I am discussing in this article. “The 1960 United States Census reported that 9% of children were dependent on a single parent, a number that has increased to 28% by the that the 2000 US Census was released.” I know plenty of single mothers that are constantly struggling to provide for their kids, because the father of her kids wasn’t man enough to handle his responsibilities. There is no way to fully prevent fathers from walking out on their kids, but there are certain preventive measures that you can take to lessen the chances of this happening, and I will discuss those shortly.

Let me make this clear, financially supporting your kids does not make you a good father, you must be in their lives, physically, because every child needs and deserves to have their father in their lives. My father never ran out on his family even during the tough times, and that showed me that a real man will make things work for the sake of keeping his family together, and he will always be in his kids lives even if him and their mother splits up. One thing that puzzles me is how we have laws to force deadbeat fathers to financially support their kids, but there is no law to force them to spend time with them. There should be a law like this, one that makes sure that they spend a certain amount of time with their kids, or face a fine and jail time. That may seem harsh, but it is no worse than him leaving a mother to struggle, and leaving her kids fatherless.

What can women do to minimize the risk of having a child by a deadbeat?

• The obvious thing to do is use birth control and make any man that is not your husband wear a condom. 
• If you believe in marriage, ask yourself, is the person that you are having sex with worth marrying, if the answer is no then he is not worth having a child with. 
• If he has kids, see if he takes care of them, if he isn't being a good father to his kids, don't risk assuming that he will be a good father to yours if you choose to have one with him. 
• If he is in and out of jail, unemployed and not trying to find a job, if he is a cheater or abusive to you in any way, DO NOT HAVE A BABY BY HIM. 

If you plan on getting pregnant by him so that he won't leave you, or to get him to change his ways, DON'T DO IT. If he want to leave you then he doesn't deserve you, and you can't change a man, a man will only change when he really want to.

Those are a few of my suggestions. What ever you do, please make sure that he is a good man, and make sure that you are having a child for the right reasons. Men can be unpredictable, so it is best that you get a degree, or start a good career so that you will be financially stable if he does decide to leave you and your kids. I believe that a child needs a father and a mother in his/her life, but if the father isn't around having a positive male role model in his/her life can also be beneficial. A positive male role model can be his/her brother, uncle, grandpa, or even your boyfriend/husband. If you are a single mother you have to be strong, even during the tough times keep a smile on your face. And do not stress over that deadbeat, because karma will catch up to him.