Social Media and Relationships

Love can be a beautiful thing, and when you are in love you want the whole world to know. People tend to get on sites such as Facebook and express how good or bad their relationship is going. Most people discuss the good things, while some speak of the bad ones. The thing that a lot of people tend to forget is that the statuses that they are posting will be viewed by hundreds, maybe thousands of people. First, I will break down how people view the things that you post about your relationship.  

About 50% of your Facebook friends will think it is nice that you are posting the good things about your relationship, or they will be truly concerned about the bad things that you post. Each of those Facebook friends might even be in relationship too. Those are the main ones that will like or comment on your status.

There will be about another 40% that will not see it or they will see it, but they will not pay much attention to it. This does not mean that they dislike you or that they are jealous of you, it just means that the status may not interest them or perhaps they did not get online that day.

Finally, there is one more group; this is the final 10%. This is the group that is jealous because you have something that they wished they had. They could be the ones that were single for a long time, and constantly see you updating your status saying how much you love your significant other, and how happy you are to be with them. Your happiness hurts them, because they want to experience true love, and knowing that you have found that before they did makes them want to ruin what you have going on with the person you love.

The 10% will do whatever it takes to put an end to your relationship or to cause problems for you and your significant other. They will also do whatever they have to in order for them to find out who you are in a relationship with, and they will ease their way into his or her life. They may start out by liking some of their statuses or pictures. They may comment on their page off and on. Eventually they will message the person that you are in a relationship with. They will pretend to only want to be their friend, like most people do when they first meet. Eventually, the person that you are in a relationship with may give him/her their phone number so that they can contact each other outside of Facebook. Most men are aware of the real reason that they are getting a girl’s phone number, and that she may want more than a friendship if he is in a relationship, because plenty of women want what another woman already has. Females on the other hand may not realize a man’s intentions, especially if they are approached while in a vulnerable state. I am not saying that all men wait until a woman is going through problems before they get to know her because it will be easier to get what they want when she is like that, but a lot of them do.

Once the person from the 10% gets your boyfriend/girlfriend to contact them outside of Facebook the next step will be for them to meet in person. Plenty of you may read this and say that your man or woman will never fall for that, but you would be surprised at how wrong you are. And if you think that way, you probably were already in that situation and were unaware of it. The 10% of people who are jealous of your relationship will go through a lot to hurt your feelings and end your relationship, but there are ways to avoid this.

1. Always be aware of statuses that people may make toward you without saying your name. Some people will make it known that they are jealous, but they will create a subliminal status to get it off of their chest, while keeping your name out of it. You can easily delete them before they even attempt to break up your relationship. 
2. Pay attention to the people who comment and like your status. Most of them may have good intentions, but some of them may comment or like your status only to be nosy, and to see all of the comments that you receive on it before they inbox and attempt to try to get to know you while you are going through relationship problems.
3. You need to understand that anyone can become jealous. Do not think that only your enemies and people who you do not know will try to sabotage your relationship, because a friend will do it too. Think about it, a friend sees you talking about your how good your relationship is online, and in person. If it is a friend that is not loyal they will eventually get curious about what he or she is doing to make you so happy. As time passes they will want what is yours. Even though you all may hang out together in person that might be too risky for him/her to try to talk to your man or woman when you are around. They may flirt with your significant other while you all are in public, when you are not paying attention, but they will not do anything to make you curious. Ask yourself, what is the easiest way for them to try to talk your boyfriend or girlfriend? The answer is by messaging them on Facebook or a similar social media site.
4. Be aware of a person pretending to care in order to get close to you and to separate you from the person you are with. Everyone needs advice sometime, but be aware of people that will try manipulate you to get what they want. We can easily say Facebook destroys relationships, but we as humans have free will so we are the only ones can mess up our relationships by giving in to temptation, and by not showing self-control.

Why do men cheat?

Most women want to know why men cheat, and some of them feel as if there is one single answer, and that answer is that he is not satisfied. Honestly, some men do cheat because they are not satisfied, but that is not the only reason why men cheat, there is no single answer. 

 One of the reason that men cheat is because they enjoy the thrill of cheating. The excitement that comes along with cheating pushes a lot of men to constantly cheat on their girlfriends. I once was friends with a guy that had the perfect girlfriend, but he cheated on her all of the time. I did my dirt back in the day so I could not judge him, but when I had a good woman I didn't cheat, so I could not understand why was constantly breaking her heart. 

 One day I asked him why do he cheat on her so much, and he looked at me and said that he know that has a good woman, but he was addicted to the thrill of cheating, because of the feeling that he gets when he sneaks around, doing something that is forbidden, such as cheating. A lot of men never stop seeking that thrill until they realize that they are constantly losing good women by making poor choices. Remember this, you CANNOT change a man that think like that, the best thing that you can do is distance yourself from the relationship, because he will not change until he wants to change.

 Another reason why men cheat is because their so called friends influence them to do so. Some men feel as if they can't say no to a woman when they are in a situation where they are around their friends, and they have a woman coming on to them. They might want to say no, but when they have their friends in their ear constantly telling them to go for it, they are going to do that, because they don't want to feel like they are less of a man for saying no, and they also want to impress their friends. These type of men are weak, and easy to influence, so they cheat to protect their image. It sounds childish, but these things do happen.

 Then you have those men that cheat because it gives them a sense of freedom, because deep down inside they are afraid to commit, so cheating gives them the opportunity to have the best of both worlds. They are able to be in a relationship with one woman, but they are also able to do their thing on the side, and this helps them to eliminate the feeling of being tied down. These men will continue to do this until they grow up and overcome their fear of commitment, and realize that being with one woman, and being faithful can be an amazing thing.

 As you can see there is never one specific reason to explain why most men cheat, there can be many reasons. Now, I don't believe in giving second chances even though a lot of women give these cheaters a second chance. Most people that cheat will end up cheating again, especially after being caught and getting a second chance to do it again. This happens because some men see a second chance as a woman being weak and desperate, so he feels like she need him and without him she can't function. Men feel like it doesn't matter how much they cheat because their significant other will never leave them, and she will keep forgiving them; the sad part is that it usually works out like this. 

Take this from a man that used to cheat, and a man that knew a lot of men that cheated, a lot of us do change our ways, but do not expect that man to change his ways while he is with you. This can happen, but there is a stronger chance that he will continue to hurt you until you get fed up and leave him. He might continue to mess up future relationships, until he realize that he must force himself to be faithful and gain some self-control, so that he can finally settle down for good. Believe it or not all men eventually get tired of being a player, but there is nothing that you can do to make him become tired of it.